I think it just sucks to be worrying but not being able to get down to work and do anything about it, goodness. Reallyreally need to start getting some form of momentum before it's too late, don't really want to retain or anything, ahh.

After promos, it's time to shift my focus and I'm going to silence all of that, one more time. It's kind of strange that till now, people still have no clue what keeps me burning. Blissful ignorance, beneficial to everyone.

I've been looking through my Itouch and seeing all those inspirational quotes, it kinda made me laugh. To be honest, I wonder if they ever had any significance in my life, considering the fact that I'm never reminded of them when I need motivation.

I mean, something like say,

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon".

Somehow, they don't work on me anymore. All these quotes which were supposed to be a form of encouragement had never worked for me. Perhaps this explains why I was such a failure in the past. Yes, it's a matter of perspective I know. But looking back, I could have been much better, not only in one aspect. I guess my perfectionist streak is emerging yet again. It isn't very apparent in what I do in day-to-day basis, but it surely comes through in my thinking process. All these expectations heaped upon myself, I have never really thought about the consequences if I don't achieve them. Disappointment you might say. But what many don't understand is that in a world of a perfectionist, there's no room of error. More often than not, there will never be a grey area. This leads me to wonder whether I'm a true perfectionist. Along the way, I kind of started to expect less of myself, giving lame excuses such as 'trying my best is enough'. It's apparent now, as I see it, it's back. My perfectionist streak has returned. Whether it's going to make or break me, time will tell.

Nonetheless, time to wake up from such a dream. It's about time I start relying on my mental strength anyway.

Shall get back to work. Or maybe I shall just head to bed.